…typing. Many things that I can’t find the words to talk about, or even keep to individual thoughts.

I’m thinking I may move back over to FA or something. I like Tumblr, but it isn’t really optimal for connecting with communities. It’s like living in an apartment, posting stuff to a board outside your door, and taking notes shoved underneath the door, but there’s always just a big dumb useless door in the way, keeping you from really being a part of the rest of the world. Granted, when I made the move to this page, that was what I was looking for, but now that I’ve enjoyed the relative silence and solitude for far too long, I’d rather like to move back. I’d like to open that door again.

Community is really what it’s all about. Belonging. I had that for a while, and it felt good. I let folks take advantage a bit, for the sake of holding onto that feeling. Eventually I grew tired of it, as one does, and left it behind, locking the door. Good riddance. I think on it now, and that really wasn’t the case at all, was it… if you’re to be part of a community, you have to put forward something. I suppose I just felt that I was putting in more than I was receiving. But then, I was closing the door, shutting the community out after making my contributions. It was me the whole time, not everyone else.

Yes, I suppose that makes sense.

I do wonder if I can even come back at this point. I’ve burned many bridges over the years, locked many doors. The world is changing. The community is changing. Has changed. There’s plenty of opportunity I suppose. Maybe I’ve matured enough to do things right this time.

Or, perhaps, there’s something else in my coffee than what was on the label. Either way, I miss you all. I’m tired of seeing the world through the peep-hole on my door.


Edit -

Almost two years ago I wrote a similar post. I thought that may be the case, but I wasn’t certain. I wonder if I’ll do better this time.